At last, you will all hear the real story behind these adventures that my “subject” embarks on.
You know, it’s almost pathetic how easy it was to crack Andrew’s password once I had access to the right equipment. What could have taken nearly 379 quadrillion years took merely a few days. What they call WordPress security is illusion of security, apparently. Then again, no human can do what I can.
Damn, I love quantum computing.
At this point, I suppose you’re confused, human as you are. To begin with, I am Marco Tirohita, although Andrew has called me “Marco the Spacefarer.” In fact, he even used me as inspiration for a rather absurd puzzle game in the past. Any bells ringing? No?
While the little white guy in the puzzle game bears no resemblance whatsoever to my toned physique, I suppose calling me “Marco the Spacefarer” isn’t entirely inaccurate. Though it comes across too cutesy, if you ask me. I may be a Spacefarer, but I don’t go around shouting it from the rooftops. After all, when was the last time you met someone who introduced themselves as “Harriet the Astronomer?”
Didn’t think so.
My purpose here is simple, I have commandeered this website to give you all, as clueless earthlings, the only honest perspective of your planet that you’ll ever get in your miserably short and uneventful lives.
As part of that mission, I have obtained the next photoset that Andrew was going to share with you all (through means that are far beyond your understanding, I assure you). As such, you can expect a refreshingly… honest perspective on the pathetic excuse for a museum that you call the “Museum of Science & Industry,” a museum that I might point out is conspicuously lacking in both “science” and “industry.”
I’m not one to sugarcoat things. Surprised? Even when compared to something as basic as the NearSky Arboretum on Avani, this museum is depressingly jejune in its content.
Clearly, you earthlings have a hell of a long way to go, and perhaps my upcoming report of your pathetic excuse for a museum will help with that. Although I wouldn’t hold my breath.
That is all. You may now resume your nearly meaningless lives for a few days while I prepare my report.
2012.11.25 Note from Andrew: Marco and I have come to an agreement. He’s given me control back in exchange for permission to write a few “reports” as he calls them. This should be interesting…